Before I officially start this post, I feel I should warn you. With a few exceptions, I don't really like to get too personal on this blog. That's just not my style. But in the post I'm about to write (although I must admit I'm still debating whether I should actually write it, and if so, whether I really want to publish it) I will be getting a little bit more personal. So, if that's not really your style either, if that doesn't interest you one tiny bit, you should probably run away... right... about... now!
Not too long ago, I finally joined Facebook. I had actively and persistantly resisted it before (you see, even though I have not one, but two blogs, I am in fact not very much - or not at all - into technology), but when a good friend of mine who is perhaps even more technologically challenged than I am, ventured onto Facebook, I couldn't very well stay behind. So, like the millions and millions of people who went before me, I now am the proud owner of my very own Facebook-page. Once I found some people who were actually willing to publicly admit to being my friends, Facebook started to throw all of these people my way, suggesting that I might know them. Some of them I know or knew, most of them I have never heard of. Of the ones I actually know or have known, most I like and if for some reason we haven't stayed in touch, I would very much like to see what they're up to these days. However, there are also a few I don't really care for and I would have been fine to have never been reminded of them ever again (thank you very much, Facebook!). These few people (really, just one or two, I don't want you to think there are all these people out there that I don't like) I met in high school. Which kind of brought me back and got me thinking about my time in school (thanks again, Facebook!). I guess I was a pretty weird kid in high school. I was really shy. I never quite knew what to say. I was awkward and quirky. I wore cheap and often second-hand clothes, with which I desperately tried to create my own style (I failed miserably, if you must know). In short, I wasn't cool at all. Definitely not one of the popular kids. Don't get me wrong, I had some amazingly awesome friends! Still do! But there were also a few people who just didn't really seem to like me very much. Fortunately, I didn't get teased too often or too badly. But I did get made fun of every once in a while and especially when you're already a shy kid, that's not exactly doing you much good. So... I became even more shy and I desperately wished to be different. Cooler, prettier, less shy, more outspoken. Just anything but myself. And although I absolutely, more than anything in the world, wanted and tried to be different, I never really knew how. It actually took me the longest time (ok, this makes me sound kind of old, it might have just felt like a long time) to figure out why I wasn't very succesful at being different. The answer is actually quite obvious. Because you just can't be different. You just can't be what you're not (I know, this is starting to sound a bit too philosofical, but bear with me). This doesn't mean you will always be the same. You change, you grow, you learn, you evolve. And you should. But I believe this only concerns the nuances of who you are. The person that you are, your personality, your soul, that doesn't change. Nor should it. You just simply are who you are and you don't have to do anything about it. Now, realising that is one thing, accepting it is another. Accepting who you are, weird quirks and all, isn't the easiest thing to do (especially after having been teased for who you are and after trying to be different for so long). But personally, I like to think I've come a long way! Now I like that I'm a little different and that I have some weird little quirks. I like it when my boyfriend calls me his little weirdo (which he means in the nicest possible way, I assure you). Being normal is just boring anyway! I like it that I'm just me now. That doesn't mean that I'm never insecure anymore, but what I guess I'm trying to say is (I guess, because half the time I don't even really know myself what I'm trying to say): Just be yourself! Because there isn't anybody else you're going to be. And if you're a little bit different? Even better! And if people don't like who you are? That's their problem, not yours!
Oops, did I get way too personal here? Too much information? Well, I warned you. You should have run when you had the chance!
